The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found puke in my bra..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
