They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
