its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
