I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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