Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Panties = found
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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