just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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