Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
