Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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