he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
