all she had left on were here heels. phone five
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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