I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
