If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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