i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
