I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
