This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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