Pappa wants mamma naked
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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