Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
