I don't think brook has ever known best
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
