I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize