He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
