her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
