did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize