yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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