kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Still dying that you shit outside
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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