North Korea, Best Korea!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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