I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
