his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
