ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
