her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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