We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
