haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As shirtless as possible
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Randomize