If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
