fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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