We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
