just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize