Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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