Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize