remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
