I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
