he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
