Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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