So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
