Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
