How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
