the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize