Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
