I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
