I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
