I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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