I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its not stalking. its research.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize