It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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