I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
