MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
