remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
