Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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