I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
