if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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