I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
These tits shall not be calmed
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
