White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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