i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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