We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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