I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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