It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Are my feet made of real feet?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
