im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
