I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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