i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
