And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
