It's Friday. Sex?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
