Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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