And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize