I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
