just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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