My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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