I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize