on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
