There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
