I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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