Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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