it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
