yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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