Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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