Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
