My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
