She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
