This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize