First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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