And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Sacagawea was the original milf.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
