just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
