my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
