he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
