I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize